


Maybe life should be about more then just surviving

by Xzera_Nycto



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Artist Clarke, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Minor Character Death, Other, Sexual Humor, Student Lexa, Suicide, Swearing, Writer Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 09:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14974145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xzera_Nycto/pseuds/Xzera_Nycto
Summary: Clexa domestic fluffiness.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't have a plan for this really, the domestic fluff captured me and told me to "Run!"...wait, wrong fandom...ah well. It's still true, so enjoy the result of my undying love for Clexa.

“Dude, it’s cold as balls outside!”

The door slammed open and was quickly shut behind a bundle of a human being stripping off layers as they walked into the room on their right. They kicked off snow-covered boots and subsequently flopped unto the bed.

The girl sat at the desk turned towards them and frowned.

“Clarke…”

“Mmm?”

“Shoes…”

“ughhhhh”

“It’s your rule, sweetie… _’No shoes in the room, carpet is a bitch to clean up after.’_ ”

“I know but my legs hurt!” Clarke whined.

The girl rolled her eyes and turned back to the laptop they had been typing on and resumed.

“Well, I’m not gonna do it and you’ll have to clean the mess left behind, you’re well aware I cannot work a vacuum to save my life.”

Clarke rolled unto her back and smirked.

“Well I could teach you Lex…”

Lexa paused her typing and looked sideways at Clarke, right eyebrow slightly raised. Clarke sighed heavily before getting out of the bed to grab her shoes and take them to the shoe rack by the door. Soon there was sound of rushing water and then the click of the kettle.

Clarke re-entered the room after a while carrying two mugs with steam rising out the top. She set one down beside Lexa, the other on the table beside the bed she crawled unto. Lifting the left pillow, Clarke brought out a large book that had a torn receipt sticking out the top of it, about three quarters in. Clarke pushed the pillows up behind her and pulled a blanket over her knees before opening the book and getting lost in the pages.

Half an hour later, Lexa stood from her seat, with her now empty mug, stretched and walked over to Clarke. She picked up Clarke’s forgotten mug of tea and kissed her head before heading to kitchen. Lexa dumped out the full cold tea and set the mugs to the side, most likely to be used again. She made her way to the small bathroom and blew her nose while peeing. Staring at the tiles in front of her, she debated whether or not the two-day old Chinese takeout in the fridge was old enough to cause major shits upon consumption.

Lexa stood up and flushed the toilet. Leaning over the sink, she checked her teeth as she washed her hands. She made her way back to the kitchen and stared into the fridge, one hand keeping it open.

“Chinese…pasta…chinese…pasta…”

A pair of arms circled around Lexa’s waist and a chin rested on her shoulder.

“What’s the verdict?” Clarke asked, her eyes scanning the shelves of the fridge.

“Well, we have the Chinese takeout from 2 days ago, that could be unwise, or I can make some pasta maybe? We have some pesto…”, Lexa reached into the fridge moving stuff around, “…and…yes, there’s some chorizo too.”

“Hmm, move over.” Clarke patted Lexa’s left hip and she moved out of Clarke’s way and started to rummage through the cupboards. Clarke opened one of the containers, sniffed and gagged audibly. Closing it and putting it on the counter, she grabbed the other packets in the fridge and did the same with those.

“Chinese is definitely out. Pasta it is then.” She closed the fridge door and gathered up the containers before dropping them dramatically in the bin.

“Penne or the butterfly ones you insist on buying?” Lexa asked as she put both packs on the countertop.

“Maybe later…right now, I want to do this.”

Clarke’s eyes ran over Lexa, a smirk on her lips as she walked over towards her, turning her around and trapping Lexa between her body and the counter behind her. She leaned in and captured Lexa’s lips in a fierce kiss, Clarke’s hands resting low and tight on her hips.

“Food can wait, right now…I want you instead.”

Lexa laughed before dragging Clarke to the bedroom.

\--=--

Clarke was lying on their bed, two hours later, clutching her stomach and groaning dramatically. She raised her face from Lexa’s neck.

“Lex! I’m so hungry!”

“Clarke, you’re the one who said…”

“I know but you’ve fucked me raw and now I’m starving…so technically, it’s your fault.”

Lexa grinned down at Clarke.

“I don’t know whether to apologise or tell you that you’re welcome.”

“Ha fucking ha, you’re so cute(!) Now, feed me!”

“Thought I just did.” Lexa laughed as she arose from the bed, looking back at Clarke who was now laying face first in the scattered pillows and mussed sheets. Clarke raised her head slowly and glared at her.

“You’re so fucking funny…stop, I can’t take the humour.” She replied monotonously.

“Oh, fuck you.” Lexa grabbed her housecoat from beneath a pile of shirts on the chair.

“Thought you just did.” Clarke’s laughter mingled with Lexa’s as she padded out the room.

\--=--

“So, Christmas? What’s the plan? Are you visiting your mum?” Lexa asked as she dished out two bowls of pasta.

“Nope, she’s in Cambodia doing something _amazing_ and _saving lives_ because _this is more meaningful_ or some bullshit, I wasn’t listening much after she said she would be there until January.”

Clarke grabbed cutlery and made her way into the living room, turning on her laptop.

“Well, I’m obviously around so do we want to do anything?” Lexa asked, following Clarke into the room and setting down the two bowls on the table.

“We could have people over? Food, booze, christmas movies…that could be a lot of fun!” Clarke exclaimed happily, her eyes widening slightly.

“Well, Anya and Indra are around…Lincoln too…”

“If Lincoln is coming then so will Octavia and the other Blake too, Raven…Oh! Jasper and Monty are coming into town for the week leading up to Christmas, they’ll be up for it.”

“So, we could do it a few days before the 25th maybe then just have a quiet day to ourselves on Christmas day?”

“Sounds perfect, we can make a group chat and ask everyone later. Ok, so what do we want to watch…you still haven’t seen Moana, right?”

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure.”

“Lex, this shit will make your heart hurt with how awesome it is.”

“Alright but if my heart doesn’t hurt then I will be disappointed.”

Clarke huffed and bumped Lexa with her shoulder as she started the movie and settled in next to Lexa on the couch.

“I mean it Cla-“

“Shh, it’s starting.”

Lexa sat back with a ghost of a smile dancing on her lips, her hands cradling the warm bowl in her hands.

\--=--

_Wanheda to TheKru:_

_Hey guys! The Commander and I are inviting you all round for a Christmassy blowout in the week leading up to the 25 th so be free and ready to get fucked up on eggnog/mulled wine/tequila shots/whatever. Food, booze and movies or obnoxious Christmas music (depending how drunk we are ;p ) I propose the 23rd, what do you fuckers say?!_

The Commander: How dignified, dear.

_Wanheda: Eat me_

The Commander: I already did.

DynamiteSpacewalker: THIS IS NOT YOUR FUCKING SEXTING CHAT! KEEP THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME!

…but count me in for the 23rd

** TweedleJas: yes!!! **

**TweedleMon: ^what he said! We arrive on the 19 th so that’s enough time to see the families before coming to yours.**

_ TheAmazon: ffs Clarke! go bone the commander somewhere else. Either way, we’re totally there! _

_Wanheda: don’t tell me what to do O! ‘We’ meaning Linc or you talking about the other blake?_

**_ TheOtherBlake: I have a name princess _ **

_Wanheda: yes, but this one suits you so well…_

**_ TOB: Whatever princess…O, you were talking about Linc right? I might not be able to make it, I have a late shift but I’ll try and switch stuff around _ **

_ TA: Yeah I meant Linc lol _

Anya aka The Commander’s Third: Always up for booze and free food.

_Wanheda: no one said it was free…Lex! We’re not giving them free food! Oi!! This shit ain’t free! BYOBAFAWTFE!_

TCT: hmm…fine

_ TA: the fuck is that Clarke??? Keyboard smash? _

_Wanheda: bring your own booze and food and whatever the fuck else…obviously_

TC: We may need another incentive for them to come then…

_Wanheda sent a picture._

TC: A picture of your face is not an incentive Clarke

_Wanheda:…hater_

Indra aka The Commander’s Second: We’ll see…if I don’t have a match then I’ll be there.

_Wanheda: Ha! My face helped xp_

TCS: no it did not.

_Wanheda: you wound me Indra!_

_LIncorp: it’s what she does best ;p_

TCS: fight me

_LIncorp is texting…_

\--=--

“That’s everyone babe! We’re having a party.”

“I’m also reading the chat Clarke, I know”

Lexa laughed as she bumped Clarke’s shoulder with her own. They were still sat on the couch; their bowls crusting on the table beside the still open laptop showing the credits of Moana paused.

“Sorry commander” Clarke smirked as she gathered the bowls and made her way to the kitchen; Lexa following behind, rolling her eyes.

“Tea?”

“Yeah, just gonna pee first.”

The slow rumble of the kettle beginning to boil was heard along with rushing water and the rattle of plates being washed in the sink. Soon, the flush of the toilet mingled with the other sounds filling the small flat with domestic sounds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meet-cute or meet-weird...let's just say Lexa knows how to leave an impression.

Lexa and Clarke had only moved in together a few months earlier and they were stupidly happy. Getting to this point had been a very interesting road but when you meet your significant other the way they had, what else did you expect?

\--=--

 

Clarke got out of her car and shivered at the change in temperature. The wind of the autumn morning cut through all her layers and made her shiver once more.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” Clarke locked her car and jogged up to the front door of TonDC library.

“Cold, cold, cold, cold”

She unlocked the door hurriedly and bustled inside, slamming the door behind her.

“Fuck”

She shivered once more and headed towards the office to drop her coat and bag. Turning on the heating, she made her way around the stacks to double check everything was ok. Clarke unlocked the basement door and made her way down the stairs to check the historical archives when she stopped suddenly.

Her neck prickled as she heard the sound of deep breaths.

“The fuck –“

She hurried down the rest of the steps to see a body curled up on the couch, fast asleep. Clarke was frozen, eyes wide as she took in the rest of the room; books open on the table, a laptop bag leaning against the couch and the lights off.

She approached slowly and gently shook the shoulder of the woman who startled awake. The woman’s piercing green eyes grew wide with shock, her nostrils flared momentarily as she pushed a few strands of her long brown hair that had escaped her plait, out of her face.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Me?! Lady, you’re the one fast asleep in TonDC Library at half 6 in the morning! How the fuck did you get in?”

“What? Oh shit!” The brunette shot up, grabbed her bag and bolted up the steps.

“Hey!! Wait!!!” Clarke ran after her but by the time she got to the front door, the woman had vanished.

“Who the fuck was that?” she murmured to herself as she re-entered the library, heading back to the basement. She was packing up the open books when she found one that wasn’t a library book; it had notes scrawled along the sides with post it notes sticking out of it on many different pages.

She closed it to reveal a large equals sign on the front and carried it back to the office for safekeeping; maybe the brunette will come back.

_How did she get in though? She was probably here when the library was shut and maybe got missed somehow? Oh, it was James on closing shift! Makes sense, that fucker is usually high half the day, he probably would’ve missed a fucking marching band._

\--=--

_“Asleep? Seriously?”_

“Yeah. I go down to the basement and she’s lying there, sleeping! Then when I wake her up and ask how she got in, she freaked out then bolted out the door. I didn’t even get a name.”

_“So, you wanted a name, huh? She was hot, wasn’t she?”_

“Not the point Rae –“

_“So, she **was** hot”_

“Yeah, ok, she was fucking stunning but I still had to tell Kane and not having a name didn’t help. James finally got fired though, how he still had a job is a mystery to me.”

_“Aw, I liked him”_

“You liked him because he got you weed”

_“Yeah and now I have to go back to the Jonty boys…fuck sake”_

“Jasper and Monty seem really cool though”

_“Yeah, they are but I don’t want to be friends with my weed dealers and they’re really starting to grow on me.”_

“Same here, you know what… I’ll send you James’ number that way you can have a dealer and 2 new friends”

_“Awesome! Thanks Clarke.”_

“Sure thing…my lunch break is almost over now, I’ll catch you later”

_“Ok, later”_

\--=--

Clarke had been sat at the computer by the helpdesk, drafting overdue book emails when she heard someone clear their throat. She glanced up to see a tall woman with medium length light brown hair and a stoic expression on her face, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes? How can I help you?”

“Hmm…I’m here to pick up a notebook that was left in the history section.”

Clarke had an idea about which one the woman meant but this was not the same brunette that had bolted out of here this morning and she had quietly hoped that she’d come back herself.

“Can you be more specific?”

The woman huffed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, it’s black, got post-its sticking out of it, a big equals sign on the front and was left here this morning. I went downstairs to check but it’s not there.”

Clarke bristled at her tone and rose to her feet, not enjoying the way the woman had seemed to loom over the desk.

“Well, yes, I _think_ I know the one that you mean but I can’t be sure that you’re the owner so I can’t give it to you.”

“I know I’m not the owner, she asked me to come get it.”

“Well, I can’t verify that. I’m not just going to hand it out to anyone claiming to have been asked to get it, you’ll just have to tell her to come herself.”

The woman’s eyes narrowed.

“I’m not a messenger boy for fuck’s sake, just give me the book.”

Clarke leant back on her heels and crossed her arms.

“I’m sorry, _ma’am_ , I can’t do that. If the owner wants her book back then she can come get it herself. If you don’t want to pass on my message, that’s not my problem but you’re not getting that book. Have a lovely day.”

Clarke turned and headed for the back office. She knew she was being petty but that woman had irritated her.

When she came out moments later with her bottle of water and settled back into her seat, the woman had gone.

_Good._

Not an hour later, Clarke was still wired from the earlier conversation and the brunette from that morning stormed in, heading straight for Clarke.

_Damn, she was hotter than Clarke remembered._

“Hello again, how can I help you today?” Clarke asked as she stopped in front of her.

“Hand over my book.” The woman bit out through gritted teeth and Clarke’s head snapped back, eyebrows raised.

“There’s no need to be so aggressive.”

“I don’t appreciate being dragged down here because you were too incompetent to realise that my friend had described the book and thus proved herself able to come and claim it.”

“Well, excuse you, your highness, I didn’t realise your second in command was so capable at describing the outside of a book that _anyone_ else could have seen. In fact, I could describe the outside for you but that doesn’t mean I was here on behalf on the owner to claim it.”

“How dare you speak to me like that?!”

“What? Answer your rude retort with an explanation? I do apologise profusely, let me retrieve your oh so coveted book and let you be on your merry way.”

Clarke stomped off into the office.

_Ugh! What a bitch!_

She grabbed the book off the shelf and made her way back to the brunette who had not cheered up since she had left. The woman held out her hand.

“My book, if you please.”

“Hold on, can I have a name first?”

“Why?”

“Well, I need to fill in the lost and found folder and it’s not everyday that I find someone sleeping in the library when I open it. Also, there’s a name on this and I need to verify you are the _actual_ owner. I can go first if you like, I’m Clarke.”

A small blush crept up the woman’s face but she raised her chin defiantly.

“Lexa.”

“Hi Lexa. Now, was that really so difficult?”

“From such a rude employee, yes. At least I have a name now when I speak to management about your behaviour.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, hand tightening on the book.

“Hmm, I see… well, my boss will be ecstatic to have the name of the woman who decided to use our library as her own bedroom. We can both go chat to him together, if you like.”

Lexa let out an angry huff.

“My book.”

Clarke held out the book and Lexa snatched it, placing it in her over shoulder bag as she turned and stormed out.

“You’re welcome!” Clarke shouted after her.

\--=--

“The hell she call me?”

Anya sat up from where she had been lying on Lexa’s sofa. Lexa had been telling her and Indra about her run-in with the blonde, now known as Clarke. Lexa was wearing a hole in the rug with her pacing while Indra watched amused from her seat on the windowsill.

“My second-in command.”

“Ugh, prissy bitch.”

Anya slumped back unto the couch and Indra smirked at her retreating form.

“Yes, if anything, I’m her second and you are her third.” Anya’s hand popped up and she flipped off Indra.

Lexa smirked in response before frowning.

“This is not funny! She was annoying and rude and I would have had her job if she hadn’t threatened to tell her boss my name. I really like studying in that library and I will not have some _princess_ take it from me.”

Anya and Indra shared a look.

“Seems she really got to you…” Anya started, slowly rising into a seated position on the couch and Indra hummed in agreement.

“Well of course she did! Coaxing my name out of me while holding my research hostage in her hands. Her stupid blue eyes staring at me…what?” Lexa had stopped her pacing to face the two women who were now grinning at her.

“Anya, I believe our Commander is flustered. Could it be that she has a _crush_ on this ‘princess’?” Indra crossed her legs, hands resting on the sill by her sides and Anya laughed at the remark.

“Oh, it’s so romantic. The Commander and the Princess!”

“Children…you’re both children. I do not have a crush on Clarke”

Lexa raised her chin and planted her hands on her hips to which both the women let out a laugh.

“Clarke now, huh? A few seconds ago she was annoying, rude…”

“Her name does not change that fact, Anya.”

“Oh yeah, you definitely want to fuck her.”

“Anya…” Lexa narrowed her eyes and glared at her friend.

“Seriously though, if you like her, then go for it. It’s been a while since Costia and she already gets you all hot and bothered.” Anya winked as she stood and patted Lexa on the arm before heading to the cupboard beside the TV.

“I do not like her!” Lexa exclaimed and looked towards Indra for support who simply raised her eyebrow and tilted her head slightly. The question did not need to be spoken for Lexa to understand. Lexa furrowed her eyebrows before relaxing her shoulders slightly. _Did she like her?_

Lexa thought about Clarke; her shapely figure, medium length blonde hair bouncing as she had walked away from Lexa, the way her shirt had stretched over a full chest… Lexa’s stomach fluttered. _Maybe she did…or at least, she was attracted to the blonde._

“Alright! Enough about the princess; Commander, will you lead us into battle?” Anya asked, spinning around with Call of Duty in one hand and an XBox controller in the other.

\--=--

“So I got her name, Lexa Woods. Hotter than I remember and a total bitch.” Clarke shut the front door behind her as she made her way into the flat she shared with Raven and Octavia.

“Rae?” Clarke asked as she entered the kitchen to see Octavia leaning against the worktop with a mug cupped in her hands.

“Nah, she went to the shops but she did fill me in. A bitch, huh? What happened?” Octavia smirked as she took a sip from her mug. Clarke groans and drops her bag and keys on the tabletop.

“She comes in all high and mighty demanding her book, calls me incompetent and threatens to report me to Kane.”

“Shit, why would she report you to Kane?”

“Well…her friend came to get it but I wouldn’t give it to them so she came down herself to claim it. She was not impressed apparently and was acting like a little shit so…”

“You got snarky, didn’t you?”

Octavia smirked and put the mug in the sink before sitting on the worktop she had been leaning against. Clarke slumped against the table with a groan before sitting on the stool to her left, lifting her head from her crossed arms.

“Yeah, I couldn’t help it…she was just so bossy and hot and…”

“Hot?” Octavia laughed.

“O, I’m telling you that woman could ride my face as long as she wanted.”

“Well damn Clarke! Who’s the lucky woman?” Raven laughed from the doorway holding two carrier bags packed to the brim.

“Seems Clarke here is hot for Sleeping Beauty…and by hot, I’m mean Icarus level.” Octavia smirked as she jumped off the counter top before heading towards her room, passing by Raven, hobbling slightly as she entered the kitchen and put the bags on the table next to Clarke’s things.

Clarke slumped back on to her arms, groaning in the process.

“So, I’m guessing you saw her again? Or are you having a meltdown over this morning?” Raven asked as she starts to empty the bags, filling their sparse cupboards.

“She came back for the book but she was mean and then I was mean because she was mean but I had been an ass to her friend who had come by first so I guess it’s my fault that Lexa doesn’t like me.”

Clarke’s voice was muffled as she spewed out about Lexa into the crevices of her arms.

“Lexa? Is that her name? Kind of name is that? Maybe it’s short for something?”

Clarke groaned again into her arms and Raven stared at her, a sympathetic smile on her face.

“It sucks when the gayness railroads you, I know the pain well. Give it time and you’ll be dying over someone else.” Raven patted her arm before grabbing the milk and opening the fridge.

“Yeah I guess, I’ll probably never see her again anyway, right?”

Raven hummed in agreement as Clarke dragged herself up, grabbing a bag of nuts from one of the almost empty shopping bags.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this chapter so I may edit it again but the next chapter needs me more right now :p


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa meet again...

Lexa was nervous. Why was she nervous for fucks’ sake, it’s a library! it’s just a library.

_It’s not about the library._

“I know that.” She said to herself as she shifted her bag more comfortably on her shoulder before striding towards the front door of TonDC Library and opening it.

_Walk with purpose. This is your favourite study spot. You’ve avoided it for 2 weeks but no more. She will not chase you away… no matter how hot she was. For all you know, she’s not working today._

Lexa made her way to the basement, looking around her subtly. The lack of blonde hair made her relax just slightly.

_See._

She went down and set up her laptop and notes, this PhD was killing her slowly but at least it was an interesting death. Soon enough, she was immersed in the historical politics of leaders and had forgotten all about the blonde.

\--=--

“Fuck fuck fuck, cold cold cold!” Clarke shivered as she ran into the comforting warmth of the library. It really should not be this cold at 1 in the afternoon; it was damn near criminal.

“Hey Charlie.” Clarke nodded towards the red haired girl with glasses sat behind the desk.

“Clarke! Thank fuck, you’re here! I’m gonna be late!” Charlie packed up her stuff before jetting out the door.

“Bye Charlie.” Clarke laughed, walking into the back room dropping her bag before heading back out to man the desk. She had just sat down when her phone buzzed.

DynamiteSpacewalker: Oi! The Blake’s are planning on going out tonight! We’re gonna get pizza so we’ll have leftovers in the morning ;)

You’re coming obviously…

Clarke shook her head laughing before responding that she was _delighted_ to be informed of her plans for the evening. With her focus on her phone, she missed the brunette that walked back into the library with headphones in and a takeaway cup in her hands heading for the basement.

Clarke’s shift flew by and she was actually looking forward to having a night out with her friends as she cleared up tables and rounded up stragglers. She headed towards the basement and remembered that morning from 2 weeks ago. Her stomach fluttered as she opened the door.

_Oh, calm down, you’re over Lexa._

_Shit…_

She had made it to the bottom of the stairs when she saw Lexa herself hunched over her laptop with headphones in typing haphazardly. Her long brown hair tied down her back in a plait. Clarke’s stomach fluttered once more and she took a deep breath; Lexa had not noticed her yet.

_Shit! Shit! Shit! Breathe! Fuck, ok, be cool, be suave._

Clarke cleared her throat but it went unnoticed by Lexa, whose face was illuminated by the glow from her laptop screen. Clarke ventured closer and was within reaching distance when Lexa’s head flew up, finally noticing that she was no longer alone. She recognised Clarke immediately and jumped slightly, ripping her headphones out, slightly flustered.

_Great work Clarke, real suave._

“Hi”

“Hi…again” Clarke let out a nervous huff of laughter, tamping down the urge to wave awkwardly.

Lexa’s fingers twitched as she raiseed an eyebrow at Clarke. They stared at each other for a while before Lexa spoke.

“Yes?”

“Oh, um, we’re closing, it’s 8… unless you were planning on spending the night again.” Clarke laughed a little at that before noticing Lexa’s reddening cheeks.

“Sorry, too soon?”

Lexa chuckled and smiled, making Clarke’s heart clench at the warm tone and beautiful smile. The brunette clicked save on her laptop before closing it and shoving her headphones in her pocket.

“Hey…um, sorry.” Clarke shuffled nervously when Lexa’s eyes meet hers.

“When I was rude to you before… that was uncalled for and um, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. I am sorry as well, I can be quite abrupt and you seem to have a way of pushing my buttons.”

_I’ll push something…_

Clarke stopped the thought before it took her to dangerous territory; she could already feel her cheeks warming slightly and a small tug in her lower abdomen.

Clarke and Lexa smiled at each other, past tension melting away.

“Ok, I’ll leave you to pack up then.”

“Ok.”

Clarke was unable to stop the awkward wave this time but it did not seem so awkward as she made her way back up the stairs, a grin on her face.

When Lexa left the library, they waved goodbye to each other, small smiles on both their faces.

That night when Clarke went out with Raven and the Blake siblings, she had a warm feeling in her stomach that wasn’t from the alcohol.

\--=--

Things settled soon after; Clarke worked at the library whilst continuously building her portfolio and Lexa made dents into her PhD research. They waved at each other amicably in passing and had small conversations about nothing in particular. A number of weeks passed until Clarke worked up the nerve to ask her out. She was pretty sure Lexa liked women or at least her, as she had caught the woman staring at her boobs a handful of times.

Clarke was on closing shift that Sunday and they had been having a chat when her stomach growled noisily. Lexa laughed at the noise, a smirk settling on her face as Clarke clutched her stomach.

“Someone’s hungry.”

Clarke smiled sheepishly before commenting that she had had a light lunch today and she guessed it wasn’t enough. She looked at Lexa’s face, so much more open than when they had first met and it gave her a sudden boost of confidence.

“Do you want to go to dinner with me?” she blurted out suddenly.

Lexa’s eyes widened at the sudden question before she smiled warmly at the now red-cheeked blonde.

“Depends…is this a date?” she asked, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

“Um...I…if you…Yes.” Clarke rubbed the back of her neck, staring at her shoes before glancing up at Lexa who was smirking.

“Good.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, it’s a yes.”

They smiled at each other before Clarke’s stomach interjected again with a loud growl. They both laughed at the sound.

“Ok then, I’ll lock up and grab my bag and then we can go?” Clarke played with the library keys she had been holding.

“I’ll be by the door then.”

To say Clarke hurried through her last minute checks would be an understatement. She tried to mask her hurried breaths as she met Lexa by the door with her bag and coat.

“Shall we?” she asked, slightly breathy to which Lexa nodded once, smiling to herself at this ridiculous creature.

They headed out, Clarke turning off the lights and locking the door behind them. She turned to face Lexa and suddenly blanked on any restaurants they could go to.

“Uh…”

“There’s a quaint Italian place just down the road; are you in the mood for pasta?”

Clarke nodded.

“Lead the way.”

They set off, shoulders brushing as they walked at a leisurely pace in the cool early winter weather, hands buried deep in warm pockets.

When they got there, Lexa held the door open for Clarke and she blushed at the sudden display of chivalry from the brunette.

“Hello, welcome. Table for two?”

“Yes please.” Clarke responded to the bubbly waiter who showed them their table near the back of the restaurant. They had a booth with one other couple nearby, the music less overwhelming here.

They settled into their seats, facing each other, and the waiter returned with menus.

“Let me know when you’re ready to order drinks.”

The waiter left and they glanced at each other, small smiles on their lips.

“So…”

“Do…”

They both stopped, chuckling. Clarke gestured for Lexa to go first.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to have some wine.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m not that great with wine so you can pick if you like. I hate red though.”

“I am not amazing with wine either…how about this white one, it looks relatively nice from the description.” Clarke had a look at where Lexa was pointing on the drinks menu and shrugged.

“Sounds good.”

“Good.”

They smiled at each other again before looking down at their respective menus.

\--=--

Clarke walked into her flat, a broad grin plastered on her face.

_Lexa had leaned in and given Clarke a kiss on the cheek before stepping back and smiling. Her smile made Clarke’s heart beat even faster than it already was, a hot blush under the cheek Lexa had kissed._

_“Goodnight Clarke, I enjoyed our date. Can I text you tomorrow?”_

_Clarke held out her hand waiting for Lexa’s phone as she nodded. After tapping in the number and saving it, she handed it back._

_“You can text me whenever you like.”_

_Clarke smirked as she dug for her keys in her bag and pulled them out triumphantly._

_“I really enjoyed our date as well. Night Lexa.”_

Ding!

Clarke pulled her phone out of her pocket as she shut the door with her bum.

DynamiteSpacewalker: dude, where are you? i want foooooood

DynamiteSpacewalker: claaaarke answer me!

DynamiteSpacewalker: you better be getting laid!

DynamiteSpacewalker: going over to Bell’s with O, they love me

Unknown number: You said to text you whenever I like, so I am. Have a good night Clarke. Lexa

 

Clarke scrolled past Raven’s many messages to see an unknown number and a message from Lexa. Her cheek was still warm from where Lexa had kissed it and her heart squeezed slightly.

_Damn, I really like this girl. Shit!_

Clarke’s heart beat faster and her smile faltered, as she stood frozen by the door gripping her phone in both hands.

“Clarke, that you?! Where were y…Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Raven placed a hand on her shoulder and Clarke looked up, fear filling her eyes.

“She’s going to ruin me…”

“Who? Clarke, what are you talking about?”

Clarke released her grip on the phone and held it out. Raven glanced down and saw the text.

“Lexa?”

Clarke nodded, heart beating a mile a minute. “I…that’s…no…it’s too soon…Rae...”

Raven’s eyes widened slightly in understanding as she enveloped the blonde in her arms and rubbed her back, Clarke’s face buried in her neck.

“It’s alright Clarke, it’s been two years, it’s ok to move on… it’s ok.”

Raven released Clarke from the firm hug and looked into her glistening eyes.

“It’s time.” she said with and encouraging nod, Clarke replying with a small wet smile.

“One day at a time, it’s gotten us this far right? Now I’m dating and Sleeping Beauty is definitely feeling all of _this_ ”

Raven ran her hands along Clarke’s hips, giving them a little shake, causing Clarke to laugh, loud and genuine.

‘Yeah, I guess…thanks, Rae.” Clarke sniffled a little and released the iron grip hold she had on her phone.

“Come on, let’s go watch some Disney and eat all of Octavia’s ice cream.”

Raven smiled and dragged Clarke into their living room and she placed her phone in her pocket on the way. They spent the night laughing and crying at adorable Disney movies, old wounds forgotten for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A date, emotions running high, Disney movies and thievery (Octavia is not impressed); hope you enjoyed it! Currently writing Chapter 4 so the next update may be a longer wait than this one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dates and flirting and "...a damn good lay!"

Over the next month, Clarke and Lexa managed to squeeze in a few more dates around their busy schedules. They had another dinner date, a short lunch date with a stroll in the park near TonDC library and just recently, had gone to see Deadpool 2.

 

“Oh come on, you know I’m right. Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool! How are you even…I mean…ugh, you’re just trying to wind me up, aren’t you?”

Clarke huffed is exasperation and Lexa smirked at her. They were walking out of the cinema, Clarke animatedly waving her hands as she spoke, Lexa strolling alongside her with her own tucked firmly in the pockets of her black jeans.

“I would say I am not trying, I am succeeding. You are cute when you rant Clarke”

Clarke blushed at the ‘cute’ comment and absentmindedly wiped her warm hands on her loose fitted ripped jeans.

“Um…”

“…and when you stumble over you words. Do I make you speechless?” Lexa smiled as Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, whatever, Lexa.”

“So eloquently expressed.”

They had been slowly making their way to the exit when Clarke noticed there was also an arcade in the shopping complex. She turned to Lexa and came to a stop.

“Yes?”

“How competitive are you feeling, Sleeping Beauty?”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the nickname; Clarke had taken it upon herself to call her that once she knew it annoyed her.

“I’m not really that competitive Clarke.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow and scoffed.

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

Lexa kept her face blank and merely informed Clarke that she could believe whatever she wanted.

“Alright then Sleeping Beauty, let’s test out my belief but don’t start crying when I annihilate you.”

Clarke grabbed one of Lexa’s arms and led her to the air hockey table, letting Lexa’s arm go; she headed over to one side of the table. Lexa had been smirking to the back of Clarke’s head as they had walked over but now schooled her face as she casually strolled over to her side of the table. Clarke inserted a coin and the puck was released, she placed it on the table and looked over at Lexa with a grin.

“Are you ready?”

Lexa inclined her head slightly in a half nod and picked up the pusher. Clarke used her pusher to hit the puck, aiming for Lexa’s goal but with a swift move, Lexa rebounded the puck off the side and it landed loudly in Clarke’s goal.

“Wha – “

“I guess the question is, are _you_ ready Clarke?” Lexa smirked at Clarke’s dropped mouth.

“You sneaky shit! Oh, it’s on!” Clarke exclaimed as she retrieved the puck and slammed it on the table in front of her, belatedly noticing it sliding back into her goal. She scrambled to stop it but was too late as the score showed **2-0** above their heads. Lexa let out a loud laugh and Clarke huffed angrily.

“That doesn’t count!”

The game ended with an 8-3 win to Lexa with Clarke claiming that really it should be 7-4 as “It didn’t fucking count” and that she “definitely would have scored another one!”

They played again and Lexa narrowly beat Clarke with a 6-5 score and was not smug about it…not at all.

They stayed there for over an hour playing various games from Street Fighter to Dance Dance Mix, laughing, flirting and teasing each other. By the end, they were both out of change and holding hands, grinning mischievously.

“’I’m not really that competitive, Clarke.’ Bull fucking shit! Lex! You are insanely competitive and I maintain that you bumped me so I missed my target!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh, sure you don’t.”

They had been walking out and were slowly making their way to Clarke’s car. When they arrived, Lexa turned to face Clarke, still holding her hand and she blushed under Lexa’s intense gaze as she studied Clarke’s face.

“What?”

“I would very much like to kiss you Clarke, is that –“

“Yes!”

Clarke brought her face to Lexa’s at great speed and ended up bumping their noses.

“Ow”

“Oomph”

Clarke smiled shyly then went in slower this time. Cupping Lexa’s face with her free hand, she slotted their lips together and felt her heat hammer at how nice and right and amazing it felt. They kissed softly and Lexa ran her thumb back and forth over Clarke’s hand, causing tingles to run up Clarke’s spine.

Soon they parted and smiled at each other.

“I had a great time Clarke.”

“I did too.”

“I am glad though that you didn’t cry when annihilated you.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and went to get her keys out of her bag, letting go of Lexa’s hand to steady it.

“Believe what you want Lexa. All I know is, I had the perfect shot lined up and you just so happened to step closer and bump me with your arm and cause me to miss. I demand a rematch!” Clarke turned to unlock and open the car door then faced Lexa once more.

“I accept your challenge and I’ll try to keep my arms to myself, for your peace of mind.”

“You do that.”

Clarke leant in and kissed Lexa again, one hand landing on her hip and as Lexa started to draw an arm around her, Clarke pulled back.

“Thought you were keeping your arms to yourself? Hmm?” Clarke smirked and Lexa’s pupils dilated slightly at the question. She stepped even more into Clarke until their bodies were flush together; her hands clasped behind her back and leant her head to Clarke’s ear. Grazing it with her lip, she said:

“You’re sexy when you’re bossy Clarke.”

Lexa stepped back, completely out of Clarke’s reach and inclined her head with a nod.

“Goodnight Clarke.”

Clarke cleared her throat and mumbled goodnight and she sat down in her car, fumbling to close the door. She let out a shaky breath and clenched her thighs a little before turning on the car. She waved goodbye and drove off with her heart beating wildly and a need that she had to satisfy as soon as she was home.

_Fuck, this girl is going to be the death of me._

Lexa had turned to walk home after waving goodbye as Clarke had driven off and she too had a need to get home as soon as possible. Her stride quickened as she thought about Clarke and how she had seemed to come into her life and switch things up.

_This girl is dangerous…in the best way._

 

\--=--

 

“Guys I met the love of my life today!” Octavia shouted as she entered their flat with a loud bang of the front door hitting the wall. She slammed it close with another loud bang.

Clarke looked up from her book with a smirk, index finger now working as a bookmark. Raven was not yet subjected to the rambling of Octavia as she was in the shower.

“Where is everyone? Why is no one sharing in my excitement? Where are the squeals? The fireworks? My balloons and confetti! Come on, he’s a literal god of a man, he’s so fucking hot!”

Octavia finally located Clarke who was sat against the radiator in the living room with a blanket draped over her feet. The radiator had been off for a while but she was soaking up the residual warmth still emanating from it.

“God of a man? Really, O?”

“Clarke you don’t understand!”

Octavia flopped on the floor by Clarke’s feet, her shoulder bag landing with a thud.

“He’s smart, funny, amazing and…”, she wiggled her eyebrows in anticipation.

“…a damn good lay!”

“You slept with him?!” Clarke dropped her book in shock as she sat up suddenly.

“Why didn’t you lead with that?!”

Octavia laughed and threw her arms into the air.

“This is the reaction I wanted! I didn’t actually sleep with him, though I did lay him on his back in kickboxing.”

“Oh for fucks sake O, I’ve lost my page.” Clarke rolled her eyes and picked up her book, trying to find where she’d stopped.

“So are you going to tell me about him or sit there drooling?”

Octavia slapped Clarke’s feet and shifted into a cross-legged position when Raven came in, clad in sweats and a loose tee as she towelled at her wet hair.

‘What the hell is with all the shouting?”

“Come sit and listen to the tale of how I found my true love.” Octavia patted the seat beside her on the floor.

“You do know we have furniture we could actually sit on? Tell me later, I’m heading out soon.”

“No! Wait! We’re going to his party tonight!”

“Sorry O, I have a date with a redhead. I’ll catch the next party, Clarke is free though, I’m sure she’ll go with you.” Octavia turned back to face Clarke who flipped off Raven as she smirked and left.

Hours later, Raven was on her date and Octavia and Clarke were entering a large house with people pouring out of every room, music loud and thumping through the walls. Clarke’s eyes roamed around the room and settled on the bright green eyes staring back at her. They moved closer until the owner was stood right in front of her and smiled.

“Clarke.”

“Lexa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished it and I am about 80% happy with it. I wanted to edit more but I decided to just share it with you guys as it has almost been a week! The next chapter is already in the works...of my mind, now i just need to put it to paper.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party and hungover revelations.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said you were helping a friend or something?”  
“I am...Lexa, this is Octavia. O, this is Lexa.”  
Clarke gestured towards Octavia who had been looking around the room. She stopped swivelling and turned her gaze towards Lexa with a smirk on her face.  
“So, you’re Lexa. Do you generally pick up girls by sleeping at their workplaces or is Clarke just special?”  
Lexa lifted her chin slightly in defiance and smirked in return.  
“Do you generally hit on men by saying ‘Try and lay me down big boy’ or is my cousin just special?”  
Clarke burst out laughing and Octavia blushed.  
“Lincoln is your cousin?!”  
“Oh my god O, you didn’t! Big boy!!” Clarke doubled over and gripped her thigh while the laughter ran its course.  
“Shut up Clarke”  
“Make...me...”  
Octavia bumped Clarke hard with her hip and swaying dangerously Clarke managed to regain her balance while Lexa watched the two of them in amusement.  
“So, your cousin huh? Seems we have similar taste O...” Clarke stood back upright and pinched the bridge of her nose.

At that, a tall and very built man came over with a wide grin and Octavia smiled in return, checking him out very blatantly. He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek and Octavia’s blush deepened.  
“Hey Lex, so you must be Clarke?”  
“Yeah, nice to meet you Lincoln.”  
They shook hands and gravitated back to Octavia and Lexa.  
A drunk girl stumbled past shouting “Shots!” And they all laughed gently but headed to the table laden with drinks.  
A few hours and many drinks later, Clarke had met Anya again which was a little awkward and caused Octavia great satisfaction to see her squirm; Octavia and Anya got on very well to the horror of both Clarke and Lexa.

When they were drunk enough to start dancing, Clarke led Lexa to a free space amongst the moving bodies; Clarke leaned into Lexa’s back and began to sway with her. Soon they were grinding and the sexual tension between them rocketed. Lexa turned, pulled Clarke into her and held tight to her waist, moving them to the beat. Both were breathing heavily and staring into the other’s heavy lidded eyes; one moved with the other and soon enough they were kissing furiously. Forgetting all else, they danced and kissed until a wolf whistle came from somewhere and someone sounding suspiciously like Octavia shouted “Yeah, get it girl!”. They broke away, breaths coming in pants now and slowed their movements until they were stood still, foreheads pressing together.

—=—

“I really like you.”  
“I really like you too...and I’d like to call you my girlfriend if you want to be mine?”  
Lexa and Clarke were sat in the garden, far enough away from the group of smokers for a little privacy. It had been Lexa’s idea to go outside for a bit and Clarke was grateful for the fresh air clearing away some of the drunken haze that had settled on her mind.  
Lexa breathed in relief when Clarke answered her and said she would love to be her girlfriend.  
This time when they kissed it was unhurried and their hands were interlocked, heartbeats pounding almost in unison.

—=—

“So what did I miss?”  
Raven settled into a comfortable position on Clarke’s bed, sipping from the mug she was cradling.  
“Ugggnnhhh”  
“That much huh?”  
“Gggwwwuh”  
“What was that now?”  
Clarke turned her head slightly so she no longer had her head buried in her pillow and squinted in Raven’s general direction.  
“Go away”  
“But I want the details! Octavia nearly stabbed me once when I woke her up so I’m never doing that again. Come on Clarke! I have coffee...”  
Raven hovered the mug closer to Clarke’s face so the smell of the coffee wafted over her. Clarke opened one eye and struggled to remove a hand from below the duvet but Raven had already taken the mug back.  
“Uh uh uh,I said I have coffee; you can get your own seeing as you’re awake now.”  
“Rae, I’m dying...”  
“You seem to have your motor functions working so I’ll hold off on the funeral arrangements, that shit is costly.”  
“Fuck off...coffee...”  
“If I make you a cup, do I get story time?”  
“Yes”  
“Good, there’s your cup right there.”  
Raven pointed at the bedside table where there was another mug of coffee.  
“How did...what...”  
“You have tunnel vision when you’re hungover.”

Clarke managed to turn over and shuffle back into a seating position before reaching out to get the second mug. She held it reverently, then took a sip, sighing deeply in happiness. Clarke finished the coffee before she went on to tell Raven of the night before.  
“So what I’m getting is Octavia is thirsty as fuck and you’re smitten as fuck, geez. I’m glad I didn’t go, I already knew all that, fucking hell.”  
“I have a girlfriend Rae... when the hell did that happen? I’ve only known her a few months... I could actually fall for her... fuck, Rae what if I fall for her?!”  
Raven placed her empty mug on the floor before turning back to face Clarke head on.  
“Do you trust her?”  
“I don’t know, it’s only been a few months...”  
“Okay, we’ll from all you’ve seen, thought and felt in that time, do you think you could trust her?”  
“I, uh...”  
“Don’t overthink it, do you?”  
“Yeah, probably, yeah”  
“Then you continue as you’ve been going and if you fall for her then you fall for her and trust her not to hurt you.”  
“I trusted Finn...” Clarke whispered in a small voice as she raised her knees towards her chest and Raven nodded minutely.  
“I know and I did too...our hearts got broken but we made it through didn’t we? And to be honest, I feel like we’re stronger and better for it. I’m not saying I’m happy about it, not at all, that fuckboy can rot but what I am happy about is the fact that I have you in my life.”

Raven scooted forward and placed a hand on Clarke’s knee.  
“I mean, there were signs but we didn’t want to see them so we ignored it; this time you know better. Enjoy every moment of this and every part of Lexa...” Raven wiggled her eyebrows and Clarke huffed in laughter.  
“...and just keep your wits about you. If you see signs, talk to her, don’t run.”  
“You could be a motivational speaker or a therapist...if you didn’t hate people.”  
“Ha! Yeah, right. I don’t hate people, just the stupid ones...which is most of them. Only a select few are able to experience my many talents.”  
“Gross.”  
“Dirty minded child. I meant the use of my mouth.”  
“Ugh, please stop, I’m close enough to hurling as it is.”  
“Rude. For that...”  
Raven stood up and pulled back the blinds, letting in a vast array of sunshine.  
“Gahhh!!”  
Clarke almost dropped the mostly empty mug in her hast to hide from the blinding light.  
“I fucking hate you.”  
“Love you too sweet cheeks”  
Raven laughed as she left Clarke to her pain.

—=—

“How are you alive right now?”  
Lincoln shuffled into the kitchen, finding Lexa fully dressed, her hair wet from the shower and pouring water from the kettle into her mug.  
“Don’t be fooled by her ‘Im still presentable” demeanour, she’s dying on the inside.” Anya entered behind Lincoln and sat at the kitchen island, Lexa glared at her as she cupped the mug.  
Anya smirked and lifted her phone, Scorpion’s ‘No One Like You’ blasted out at the loudest volume with Anya cackling alongside.  
Lexa and Lincoln both cried out in despair before Anya turned it off. Lincoln, who was closer, punched her arm.  
“You’re truly evil An.”  
“One of my best qualities.”  
“You’re only quality.” Lexa interjected as she grabbed the pack of aspirin off the counter in front of her. She had already taken one but the ringing in her head demanded she take another.  
Lincoln, taking the pack of aspirin after Lexa, filled a glass with water before slinking out of the room; Anya proved to be too much for his fragile brain at the moment.

“So Clarke...” Anya began as Lexa took a sip off her green tea.  
“Yes?”  
“She seemed less like the prissy bitch I met 2 months ago at the library after you begged me to go get your book because you were ‘mortified at sleeping there and being woken by a hot blonde...’”  
“I remember, I wouldn’t say I begged you.”  
“Oh you did, I remember it fondly”  
“What’s your point Anya?”  
“You seem to really like her and she’s not all bad, does she feel the same? Do you know?”  
“I asked her to be my girlfriend last night and she said yes so I would say we’re on the same page.”  
“Good, otherwise I’d rip her boobs off.”  
Lexa rolled her eyes at Anya’s dramatic words.  
“That won’t be necessary, I like her boobs exactly where they are.”  
“I bet you do.”  
Anya smirked before standing and turning to leave.  
“Anyway I gotta run, I’m meeting Octavia later for lunch.”  
“Goddess help us all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been some time my lovelies but I bring you another chapter of my favourite couple. Hope you liked it! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa's friendship groups merge for a night of games and drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a longggg time coming, life is a cruel mistress and demands so much from me. However, I present you another chapter and hope you enjoy it.

Clarke and Lexa had been officially girlfriends for just over a month before they were able to merge their two groups of friends for a night of games and drinking.

“Uno? Really, Clarke?”

“Oh come on, Uno is the best game to start off a night like this! It reveals your true nature or are you too chickenshit?” Clarke smirks at Bellamy who was squashed on the sofa next to Jasper and Monty.

They had been bickering over which game to start with for over 20 minutes; Clarke’s group looked on in amusement as this was not new to them, Lexa was stood with Anya and Indra holding cups filled with various liquors. Lexa had been amused at first but was starting to get bored, Indra arrived bored and Anya was on her second cup eyeing the group with thinly veiled disdain. Lincoln, who had arrived with them, was snuggled up with Octavia on an armchair while Raven lay near them on the floor of Clarke’s apartment texting.

Raven looked up, bored of browsing and saw the patience wearing thin on many faces around the room.

“For fuck’s sake! Right, we’re playing the childish Uno!” Raven declared, sitting up and swivelling to face the centre of the room.

“Rae, you always take Clarke’s side!”

“That’s because I’m always right!”

“Do you have a better suggestion Bellamy?” Raven asked, watching Bellamy try to come up with a game, Clarke smirking at his failure.

“No? That’s what I thought, let’s get this shitshow on the road!”

The night finally started and the tension and boredom that had hung in the air, dissipated when Anya started a chain of +2 that ended back at her; Raven dealing the final blow with a +4.

“What the actual fuck?!”

Anya’s face of horror caused laughter to bounce around the room infecting everyone.

“You brought it on yourself.”” Indra commented with a smirk.

“Shut up Indra, you’re not even playing right now, you have no say!”

“Well I prefer watching you fail…I might get some popcorn, it’s finally getting interesting.”

The group laughed again when Lexa handed Anya her 20 new cards with a sweet smile.

“Fuck. You”, Anya took the cards and a huge gulp from her drink, “Oh, this is far from over.”

By the end of the game, Anya and Raven were ‘sworn enemies’; Bellamy was ‘on thin fucking ice’ with Clarke and everyone was wondering how the hell Jasper had won…three times in a row.

The night consisted of many more games and ended with a fierce last round of Texas Hold ‘Em poker with only two left standing, Bellamy and Lexa. Indra, Jasper, Monty and Lincoln had opted out of playing. Anya had fallen first and then Raven followed by Octavia and then Clarke.

There was one last card to be revealed and Lexa was relaxed in her seat, arms crossed. She hadn’t looked at her cards since they were dealt; 2 aces are not hard to remember.

Bellamy seemed to be getting more agitated as they had been playing; Lexa had already won 3 out of 5 rounds between just the two of them and they weren’t getting anywhere. Clarke had declared that whoever won this round, won the game and from what Lexa was observing, Bellamy _really_ wanted to win. In fact, he had already shown his tell twice, involuntarily letting Lexa know that he was bluffing.

On the table between them there was an ace in diamonds, an eight of clubs, a seven of hearts and a King of diamonds already revealed. This meant that Lexa had a three of a kind; she would win this round and thus, the game.

However, even as competitive as Lexa was, she also wanted to make a good impression with Clarke’s friends. If she annihilated Bellamy now as she was able to do, he may get defensive or aggressive or hold a grudge even; she didn’t want to cause issues. On the other hand, what if the group respected and liked her more for crushing him? Was it worth the risk to see his crumpling face and hear the cheers and be the victor if it meant down the line there may or may not be issues between her and Clarke? For some reason, Bellamy was a close friend of Clarke and his opinion mattered to her; Lexa was in this for the long haul.

“I raise. 200. What do you say Lexa? You seem a little unsure of yourself, maybe because you know I’m going to win. Are the cards good enough or better yet, are you?” Bellamy smirked as he threw his chips into the middle and Lexa bristled at his tone. She knew he was bullshitting but she wanted to make him eat his words.

“I fold.”

“You what?!” Anya shouted from her position on the floor, staring wide-eyed at Lexa.

“Seriously? You?! The Commander who is competitive to fuck is folding…what a historic day. Indra, take a photo of this moment!” Bellamy was grinning and chatting to anyone who would listen about how bluffing is a skill that not many have as he collected his winnings.

Indra was frowning slightly with narrowed eyes and Clarke seemed pensive; the rest of the group seemed happy the game was over.

“Finally, I’m getting more rum!” Octavia jumped out of her seat and headed for the kitchen.

As the game was packed away and people started to taper off home, Clarke was watching Lexa. She may not have won the poker game but she figured out Lexa’s tell in her last round before the final standoff. Lexa wasn’t showing her tell just then so Clarke knew that she would have probably won, especially as Bellamy had been tugging on his ear the whole time, his fake bluff that was actually his real bluff.

So why did Lexa fold? If Clarke noticed that bluff, then Lexa definitely would have.

Raven had disappeared earlier and Indra left after the game, stopping to whisper something into Lexa’s ear. Jasper had fallen asleep before the poker had even begun and it was left to Monty to try and wake him then take him home. Anya headed off after Monty and Jasper laughing at the stumbling pair, neglecting to help either of them. Bellamy, after one more wave and a note on bluffing, ran after them, giving Monty a hand with Jasper to Anya’s annoyance.

Clarke, Lexa, Octavia and Lincoln were left to pack away the games, snack bowls and cups. Lincoln volunteered to do the dishes, and made himself one of Clarke’s favourite people; definitely top 5. Eventually Octavia dragged him into her room and Lexa and Clarke were sat on the couch holding mugs of tea and coffee respectively.

“This was a very enjoyable evening Clarke, I like your friends.”

“Yeah it was and they seem to like you too…god knows why…” Clarke smirked at Lexa rolling her eyes.

“Hey, tell me something…” Clarke put her mug down on the floor and turned to face Lexa, “…why did you fold? I know you were going to win.”

Lexa glanced up at Clarke before taking a sip from her mug, cradled in both hands. Sighing she put it down and reached out to take one of Clarke’s hands.

“How did you know?”

“Oh please, Bellamy was obviously bluffing like crazy and I had just worked out your tell when I lost.”

“I…it’s embarrassing, but I wanted your friends to like me and it seemed like Bellamy _really_ wanted to win.”

Clarke smiled and squeezed Lexa’s hand.

“They like you, trust me, also…they would have liked it better to watch you destroy him. He’d sulk for a good while but then he’d get over it and challenge you to a rematch.”

They grinned at each other and ended up talking for hours about their friends; how they’d met, anecdotes and the like.

The sun was peeking through the window when Lexa asked Clarke how she and Raven had met. Clarke had been lying on the couch with her head in Lexa’s lap so it was easy to notice when Clarke’s smile faltered slightly at the question.

“Hey, it’s ok if you don’t want to tell me, forget I asked.”

Clarke sat up and intertwined their hands, looking at Lexa’s green eyes that held so much care and maybe even love for her. She knew that she loved Lexa and could trust her but she was nowhere near ready to say the words out loud.

“It’s not that…it’s just a hard story to tell and it’s not completely mine to share but I do want you to know.”

“Well, just know that I am here and listening and I care for you.”

Clarke leaned forward and kissed Lexa fiercely, reaching up to cup her cheek. Leaning back, she took a deep breath before launching into the story.

“There was this guy, his name was Finn…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven and Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit longer as there was so much I wanted to say. Please also note: trigger warnings for character death and suicide (trying not to spoil anything but also warn in advance).

When Clarke was 17, she was sure she had met her person. He was sweet, attentive and playful and shared her love of all things artistic.

On their first date, they had gone on a hike and enjoyed the beauty in the world. They had spotted a deer with a lopsided ear on that date and Clarke had been itching to draw it; that small imperfection made it so much more realistic.

The next day, Finn had brought her a gift; he had staying up all night crafting a small sculpture of the deer out of metal and Clarke’s heart swelled with happiness. She knew he would go on to take the world by storm and she would make masterpieces; together they would make their mark. She could see it all so clearly; their future and she couldn’t wait to experience it all.

Clarke had dated many people but only Finn truly understood her and made her feel alive. He was the one person she had been able to confide in about her dad’s death over 5 years ago. She had never told anyone how much she hated her mother and blamed her for the accident; if only they hadn’t fought that night… Clarke no longer felt so strongly about hating her mother but their relationship had become very strained since then, it didn’t help that Abigail Griffin was always off working or even flying out to do charity work in countries rife with poverty and sickness. Abi had found it hard to be around Clarke as she looked and acted so much like her father, Jake and to see those eyes filled with distrust and pain, it ached Abi’s heart.

Finn had been so kind and loyal that meeting Raven broke her heart.

\--=--

Raven and Finn had been in a serious relationship that had grown out of a lifelong friendship. When they were kids, they had joked around about marriage and growing a family that was better than the ones they had at the time and as they grew up that slowly began to be a real possibility. Finn’s dad, Neil had been offered a contract in a new city, Arkadia and they had to move. Raven and Finn agreed to do long distance for a while until they finished school and then find their own place in the world.

Finn moving left Raven no one she could turn to when things with her mum got worse. Felicia caused Raven a lot of pain but not of her own volition; she had a mental illness called ‘delusional disorder’ that made her believe everyone was out to get her and wanted to hurt her. It had been six months after Finn had left that Raven had her mum admitted to a care facility. Felicia had been steadily getting worse and she no longer left her room anymore or ate anything that Raven tried to give her, believing it to be poisoned. Raven spent the next few months trying to get her mum’s estate in order and make sure everything was paid for but it was not an easy task. Finn had been so quiet over the last couple of months and even though she knew he had been roped into helping his dad (“you need more skills than that artsy shit boy”), something felt off.

\--=--

Raven sold the house and had enough for a flight, a flat and maybe 2 months rent after the deposit. She was about to book a ticket to Arkadia when she received a call from Felicia’s care facility that her mother had committed suicide. She rang Finn multiple times but he just wouldn’t answer and Raven felt so alone. She arranged her mum’s cremation and scattered her in the sea; one of the few happy memories that Raven had with her mum was a day at the beach.

It was as if Raven was working on autopilot and she could not stay still. If she stopped moving then she would think about it and if she thought about it, she would break down and she couldn’t do that. Raven just needed to be with Finn and have him tell her that everything was going to be ok.

Raven flew out to Arkadia a week later with a backpack, a duffel bag and a sense of foreboding, things were probably about to turn to shit…well, even more shit. She arrived at Finn’s address and it was not Finn or Neil who opened the door, it was Clarke. It was a long fight with many things breaking and harsh words exchanged; ranging from loud shouting to deathly silences. Clarke had left the room when it all kicked off and packed the few things she had there, her heart shattering at the revelation. She left when the fighting was still going and Raven left not much longer after that, brushing past Neil who had picked that opportune time to arrive.

Simmering in her anger, Raven headed to a coffee shop and tried to unsuccessfully calm down. As she held the mug and had her bags cuddling her feet, it was the realisation that she had no one left to turn to or rely on that broke the anger and brought on the heartbreak. Her mum was gone and Finn had lost her trust and that was what made Raven cry for the first time since the call from the care facility. Alone in a coffee shop in a new city, Raven let the tears for her mum and her first love fall free.

\--=--

For the next two months, Raven ignored Finn’s calls and worked; she had rented a small flat and gotten a job as an assistant in an engineering company. All she did was work and eat and sleep, Raven had lost so much joy in her life and just did not see how things were going to get better. Maybe that was why she had relented and picked up one of Finn’s incessant calls. Raven listened to Finn’s piss poor speech about how he felt lonely and that it was hard being away from her and Clarke was just so easy to talk to and how the circumstances had affected _him_. His “apology” ended up making Raven feel worse so she hung up and went to bed angrier and sadder than she was before she had heard his voice.

When Finn turned up drunk and shouting for another chance as Raven was walking home from work, things took a turn for the drastic. If Raven had known what might happen next she may not have shouted at him and told him that she would never forgive him. If she had known, she may have said more of what she had bottled up inside. If she had known it was her last chance to say it, Raven may have said ‘I love you.’

It happened when Raven crossed the road that Finn had shouted for her to get out of the way. She had felt his hand try to push her out the way but it wasn’t enough. Finn had taken the full brunt of the car but it still ended up hitting Raven also and she blacked out after the impact.

When she came to Raven was in a hospital with bright lights and beeping noises hammering her senses. It took her a while but she remembered what had happened.

“Fi…Fi…Finn…” Raven croaked as she tried to sit up but froze when she felt a shooting pain rocket up her spine.

“Aargh!”

“Raven, don’t try to move, please lay back.” A blond woman leaned into Raven’s line of blurred sight and slowly helped her back against the bed, readjusting the tube Raven had tried to pull out of her nose.

“My name is Abigail Griffin, I’m your doctor. You were in surgery for a while and we were able to reduce the damage to the nerves in your lower back but there will be a long recovery period. How do you feel right now? Are you feeling any pain, how bad is it?”

“I don’t know, everything hurts and I’m…” Raven swallowed with difficulty and asked the question that had been burning in her mind since she opened her eyes.

“Finn…is he…he…dead?”

The doctor averted her eyes for a moment before reaching out and taking Raven’s closest hand, perching on the bed.

“Yes, I’m afraid. The young man who was with you, he died on the way to the hospital. According to the driver, he tried to get you out of the way, he saved your life Raven.”

Raven turned her head to the side and blinked furiously, trying to stem the tears… _how can she grieve for him and still feel so angry with him her insides felt like they were boiling?_

“Raven, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

After a few moments of silence, Dr Griffin spoke once more, still holding unto Raven’s hand, whose grip had unknowingly tightened.

“You took a lot of damage to your lower back and it’s going to a long time until you’ve healed and are back on your feet. There are still some tests I need to do, is it ok if we do this now?”

Raven stared at the ceiling through blurry eyes and nodded slowly; she took a few deep breaths and squeezed the doctor’s hand slightly before releasing it slowly. Dr Griffin stood and walked around the bed to stand by her feet, lifting back the sheets.

“Tell me if you feel this, a simple nod or twitch of your foot is enough.”

The doctor took a blunt metallic instrument and ran it gently along Raven’s right foot and her toes twitched instinctively; she nodded. Dr Griffin did the same with the other foot and with tears welling in her eyes once more Raven shook her head. The doctor applied more pressure on the second try but Raven still did not feel it and realised she was unable to move her foot when the doctor asked her to clench her toes. Dr Griffin asked her a few more questions and tapped along her legs and back (turning over had been absolute agony) but Raven’s head was filling with more and more white noise until she was no longer registering anything the doctor had said.

After Raven had been helped back around with the aid of two nurses, she turned her head away from her unmoving foot and began to cry gently; this was all too much. Her mum, then the heartbreak, Finn being d…dead and now this…it was too much.

“Is there anyone you want me to call? We were unable to find a listed emergency contact.” Dr Griffin asked, sounding so very far away to Raven and with a broken voice she replied:

“I don’t have anyone.”

\--=--

Raven was in physiotherapy for many months and she gradually retained some feeling in her left foot. Later, she was able to walk again with the aid of a brace on the good days. The bad days were harder to face when her foot would not be as responsive and Raven needed both the brace and crutches to move but her energy draining much faster. Her determination to not be dependent on anyone spurred her drive to get better as fast as she was able. She would never be at the level of mobility and ease she had before the accident but she was moving more and more each day.

Abi, as she had taken to calling Dr Griffin, occasionally stopped by and checked in on her progress. It seemed she had taken to Raven and wanted to be there for her as she recovered.

It was in the second month of physiotherapy when Raven met Clarke properly for the first time. Clarke had heard about the accident and came, flowers in tow, to pay her respects and also best wishes for Raven to get well soon. She had also brought along the programme from Finn’s memorial but Raven refused to take it or even look at it. There was animosity at first but their shared grief gave them a bond of some sort, especially given that they were both grieving but also had unresolved anger and heartache towards Finn.

Clarke began to stop by once a week and she and Raven swiftly realised they shared common interests and were both fiercely independent and strong willed women. When the stop-bys went from once a week to three times a week with texting in between, Raven realised that Abi was Clarke’s mum and they laughed at the coincidence over the fast food Clarke had smuggled in with her.

Their bond strengthened during that time and a firm friendship blossomed, it wasn’t long after that Raven had met Octavia and Bellamy and entered a whole new chapter of her life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa reminisces.

Lexa woke to a dead arm and mass of blonde hair in her face. Rolling over unto her back, she tried to rub feeling back into her arm.

She turned her head towards Clarke’s sleeping form and smiled. The blonde was lying on her stomach, limbs and hair splayed out, face buried in the pillow. Lexa furrowed her brow a little wondering if she may choke but relaxed when Clarke gave a huff and turned her face on its side, one arm moving under the pillow.

Lexa remembered them moving to Clarke’s room to continue the conversation about how she had met Raven and had held Clarke’s hand while she spoke. The sun was rising when Clarke had stopped talking and lay curled in Lexa’s arms sobbing gently until she had fallen asleep. Lexa had risen to close the curtains but then had a small indecision about whether she should stay or not but her need to hold Clarke and the fact that she did not want Clarke to wake up alone won and so Lexa returned to Clarke’s side.

Clarke opening up to her about this was a big deal to Lexa and it made her heart swell with love. The pain in Clarke’s voice had been very evident and Lexa deeply wished there was a way to remove such a burden from her. However, she knew that pain was not so easily bagged and handed around; Lexa would know… she had mismanaged her pain in so many ways and had only truly come to a realisation in the last year through her bond with Lincoln, Anya and Indra.

Clarke was also unknowingly helping her to unpick the ideal that Lexa had grasped to in order to get through some of her worst times: “Love is weakness.” The more she grew to know and love Clarke, the more she realised what Lincoln had tried to make her understand, love was not the cause of pain but they occasionally went hand in hand. Love gave you the people in your life that you would feel pain for if you lost them and but that pain wouldn’t erase the love you felt for them.

In her life, Lexa had known so much pain from her mother leaving her and her father, Titus, when she was young; then Titus dying 10 years later and finally, Costia. The pain had been too much and after Costia, Lexa had sunken into her worst bout of depression yet.

Love was weakness; loving someone made you weak and susceptible to pain and Lexa didn’t want to experience that again. She had drawn away from everything that might cause her to feel happy and loved because if she got rid of the love part then the pain part wouldn’t happen. Indra, Anya and Lincoln had battled Lexa’s withdrawal as if they had known it was coming. No matter how much Lexa pulled away, there was always someone there to tell her how much she was loved and appreciated and would be missed if she left them.

They had given Lexa some space but would send the occasional text to let her know they were thinking of her, send over her favourite food and tea. Lincoln had taken it one step further and wrote Lexa letters; he would write a letter about what was going on in his life and mind and slip them through her letterbox once/twice a week.

It was at one of these times that Lexa had opened the door and invited Lincoln in. She had put on the kettle and Lincoln read out the letter he had planned to drop off. They had sat on the couch and Lincoln talked about anything and everything whilst Lexa stared into her mug.

From then on, Lincoln would bring over the letter but knock on the door. Sometimes, Lexa would not answer and he would drop the letter through the box but occasionally she would open the door and invite him in.

It had been in the middle of a letter reading that Lexa had broken down in tears suddenly. Lincoln had hugged his cousin and told her how much he, Indra and Anya loved her and that love did not cause the pain; love brought joy and happiness and friendship and it was all waiting for Lexa when she was ready to let it in again.

Slowly but surely, Lexa had accepted the outstretched hands offered to her and let them help her get back on her feet.

As she looked at Clarke now, Lexa knew that she loved her and if this is what love felt like she would happily deal with any sort of pain to have this feeling forever. This woman was everything to her and she wanted Clarke to know how much.

\--=--

Clarke awoke to the sound of the kettle whistling, faint rumbles of conversation and the fact that she was really warm. Sitting up she realised why; she had been sleeping under her duvet with a hoodie on. Stripping it off and rubbing the sand from the corner of her eyes she tried to remember why she had slept fully dressed when usually she only wore a t-shirt and _maybe_ some underwear.

Lexa entered her room with two mugs and the night before came back to her. There were games and drinks and Lexa had met her friends then they had talked about how she had met those friends. Clarke felt a little embarrassed and she blamed the rum for loosening her lips. She wasn’t regretting telling Lexa about Finn only that she had ugly cried all over her.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“I brought you some coffee; I was told that it would bring you back to life but you seemed to have done that for yourself.” Lexa handed Clarke one of the mugs and sat on the edge of the bed with her own one half finished already.

Clarke inhaled deeply and took a sip, groaning happily which caused Lexa to shift slightly.

“Oh my god, that’s perfect! How did you know how I liked my coffee?”

“Raven made it.” Lexa replied with a smirk.

At Raven’s name, Clarke looked up at Lexa and leant over the side of the bed to put the mug down on the floor.

“Um, about last night…”

“Thank you.”

“I…what?” Clarke stumbled to a stop, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

Clarke’s eyes welled a little and she looked down and cleared her throat.

“Thank you for listening…and for staying.”

“Of course.”

Reaching over, Lexa took one of Clarke’s hands into her own and they smiled at each other; eyes saying more than they were ready to put into words.

Raven’s head popped around Clarke’s door suddenly.

“Oi! Octavia and I are heading over to your flat to annihilate Indra and Anya at Call of Duty. You guys want to come or are you too busy eye-fucking?”

Lexa rolled her eyes and Clarke laughed before looking at Lexa with eyebrows raised in question.

“It’s up to you Clarke, I’m happy to do whatever.”

“Nah, you go ahead. I kinda want a stress-free day and CoD is not stress-free in anyway. Where is Octavia by the way?”

“She stayed at Lincoln’s so she’s meeting me there. Now behave yourselves while I’m gone you two…and no fucking on the couch!” Raven shouted as she left Lexa and Clarke chuckling to themselves.

“She really has a way with words.”

“It’s a gift.”

Lexa stroked her thumb along Clarke’s hand and fidgeted with her mug in the other.

“Did you uh, want to be alone? I could go if you like.”

“If you want to go?”

“Well, you said stress-free so…”

“You’re not stress to me…”

“Then, I’ll stay…if you want.”

“Yeah, I want.”

“Ok then”

“Ok”

Clarke smirked then released Lexa’s hand to retrieve her coffee, which was just on the verge of lukewarm. Clarke gulped it down as fast as she could but choked a little when it went down the wrong way.

Lexa let out a loud laugh as Clarke’s eyes watered.

“You’re actually ridiculous.”

“You…love it.”

_Yes, and I love you._ Lexa thought with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been ages but I'm back now! The next chapter will contain some explicit scenes so fair warning ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smutty smut and "I love you" makes an appearance

_Clarke,_

_The day we met was a whirlwind and has given me more than I thought possible. I was so embarrassed that day and I did not think I would ever be able to study in that library again._

_You, Clarke, are the most amazing person and you’ve brought so much more love and laughter into my life. I could not imagine my life if you were not in it and I thank the stars that I fell asleep that day. If I had not fallen asleep, I would not have met you the way I did._

_I had never told anyone this but a week before we met, I had come into the library and you were speaking to someone (who I now know was Raven). I couldn’t take my eyes off you and when you laughed it was like I had been punched in the stomach. My heart lurched and all I could think was ‘that is one beautiful laugh’. I had been planning to say hello at some point but I kept chickening out of it and then there you were…_

_You were intimidating, yes, if you can believe that and I bolted as fast as I could. There was this strong, fierce, absolutely stunning woman that I was so very attracted to standing over me and it felt like I was still dreaming._

_You mean the world to me Clarke Griffin and I love you._

_I love how independent and strong you are. I love your quirkiness and random outbursts of energy. I love how competitive you are (almost as much as me) and how opinionated you can be._

_I love your mind, your heart and your soul._

_Forever and always,_

_Lexa_

 

Clarke’s eyes continued to spill as she came to the end of the letter.

It had been a little under a month since the games night and Clarke had come back the previous week from a trip to see her mum for Christmas and a New Years trip with her friends. Lexa had spent the time Clarke was away trying to decide how to tell Clarke she loved her and it wasn’t until she had met up with Lincoln for coffee did she think of writing a letter.

It had only been four months since they had met and Lexa knew it may be soon to say all of this but it was how she felt and it was true. So, she planned the night and wrote (and rewrote) the letter.

Dinner at Lupe’s, the Italian restaurant where they had their first date seemed like the perfect place and as she waited for Clarke outside the restaurant, the letter burned in Lexa’s pocket. Lexa had waited until the end of the meal when the bill came before she had handed it over. Clarke had been laughing and shaking it to see if it was a present of some sort but when she started reading, she had fallen completely silent.

Lexa couldn’t bear to watch her read it so she had picked up her glass of wine with a shaky hand and gulped it down. It rushed to her head for a moment causing her to feel a little woozy but it faded and when Clarke had reached across the table to grip her empty hand tightly, she looked up. Clarke had tears streaming down her cheeks and was shaking her head slightly.

“I…can’t…you…”

Clarke breathed in deeply and cleared her throat. She wiped her eyes with one hand, the other still gripping Lexa’s, whose heart was pounding so loudly she almost missed what Clarke said next.

“I love you too…oh god, I love you so much it hurts.”

Clarke reached into her pocket and put enough money to cover their meal twice over and stood, taking Lexa up with her.

Clarke kissed her with such ferocity that she was sure if Lexa had not stopped the kiss to touch their foreheads together, she would have taken her right there in the middle of the restaurant.

They grabbed their things and said a hasty farewell to the waiter as they went out into the cold. Lexa’s letter was now at home in Clarke’s bag, slung hastily over her shoulder in the departure and as they stepped out, they looked at each other. Lexa placed a soft kiss on Clarke’s lips before stepping back smiling and interlocking their fingers.

Holding hands tightly, they walked to Clarke’s car that was parked around the corner from Lupe’s.

“That letter…”

“It was really cheesy, I’m sorry” Lexa’s cheeks heated up and she looked down at her feet, toes curling in her shoes. Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s cheek and brought her face back up, bright blue eyes meeting green.

“Don’t apologise, it was perfect.”

Pressing their foreheads together, hand caressing Lexa’s cheek, Clarke whispered:

“Come home with me.”

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke, pressing her against the car and leaned down to capture Clarke’s lips. The kiss started slow but deepened as Clarke’s hands reached around Lexa to pull her closer. Lexa reached up to cup Clarke’s cheek as she slipped her tongue into her mouth. She broke off with a moan when Clarke’s hands gripped her ass, pulling Lexa flush against her.

“We need to stop before we get so far that you can’t drive.”

Clarke took several deep breaths as she reached into her bag to retrieve her keys and unlock the car.

The drive back to Clarke’s was difficult in more ways than one; Clarke was so turned on she couldn’t focus properly and Lexa’s trailing fingers on her skin did not help matters.

Clarke dropped her keys trying to open the front door when Lexa was pressed against her back whispering all the ways she wanted to take Clarke. Clarke was trembling and only just made it into her room before she slammed Lexa against her bedroom door, coat and bag dropped somewhere in her haste. Clarke attacked Lexa’s mouth; her hands buried Lexa’s hair whose hands were on Clarke’s back, pulling her as close as possible.

Clarke shifted her stance and pressed her thigh in between Lexa’s legs and Lexa groaned deeply into Clarke’s mouth. She dropped her hands from Clarke’s back to her ass, squeezing and pulling her impossibly closer so her own leg was pressing on Clarke also.

Lexa broke their kiss and moved down to Clarke’s neck, sucking and biting a hickey into existence. Clarke threw her head back, exposing more of her neck and began to rock against Lexa’s leg moaning loudly.

Lexa groaned against Clarke’s neck and the vibrations rolled through Clarke’s body, heat rushing to the meeting of her thighs, as she rubbed harder against Lexa. It wasn’t enough; Clarke needed to feel Lexa’s skin.

She pulled away from the Lexa and the door to strip off her top throwing it aside as she toed off her shoes. Lexa unbuttoned her shirt slowly as she watched Clarke hungrily, pulling it off slowly. Clarke popped open her jeans and yanked them down her legs, taking the socks with them as she stepped out of them.

She walked over to Lexa and unbuttoned her jeans, looking up Lexa, biting her lip. She slipped a hand into Lexa’s jeans to cup her through her boxers and Lexa bucked against her swearing. Lexa stroked up Clarke’s back with both her hands to unhook her bra, teeth finding the reddened mark that was coming through on Clarke’s neck. She traced an unknowing pattern on Clarke’s back while she sucked on her neck. Clarke was breathing heavily, one hand on Lexa’s hip while the other rubbed Lexa in time with the trailing fingers on her back.

“Fuck.”

Clarke removed her hand from Lexa’s wet underwear to pull at her jeans. Lexa shucked out of them and her underwear and she reached around to unclip her bra, dropping it on the floor. Clarke removed her own bra and stripped off her pants and lay back on the bed.

Lexa stood still taking in Clarke, eyes roving over her body to rest on Clarke’s face. Her eyes were dark and she was heaving, her breasts rising and falling. Lexa climbed over and fastened unto one of Clarke’s nipples.

“Uuuh, fuck!”

Clarke’s hands gripped Lexa’s head, holding her hair, her body rising off the bed to push her breast closer to Lexa’s swivelling tongue. Clarke bucked against Lexa’s mouth when she felt Lexa’s hand trailing on her inner thigh, getting close but not touching her where she needed.

“Please, Lexa, please”

Lexa’s hand finally touched her, fingers stroking her; Clarke’s arms dropped to grip the sheets in her fists.

“Fuck, yes, oh god”

Clarke was impossibly wet and rocked against Lexa’s hand as she rubbed her clit.

“Yes, fuck, Lex, yes!”

Lexa released the nipple to attack the other one, her other hand gripping Clarke’s bent leg. She rubbed Clarke’s clit in fast circles then she stroked her folds long and slow then fast again.

Clarke was swearing continuously now, rocking her hips up to meet Lexa’s hand, leg trembling under her other hand. Lexa stopped suddenly and took her hand and mouth away, staring down at Clarke’s face. Clarke didn’t know she had closed her eyes but opened them now to glare at Lexa.

“Lexa…” she growled angrily as her body continued rocking slightly, seeking the friction.

Leaning close but still not touching her, Lexa smirked.

“Hmm?”

“Fucking touch me”

Lexa pressed her thigh against Clarke and she flopped her head back on the bed.

“Fuuuck”

Clarke pressed her thigh into Lexa and felt how wet she was. Lexa’s smirk faltered, as she pressed harder against her.

“God you’re so wet”

Lexa kissed Clarke hungrily as they rocked together, faster and faster, breathing heavier and heavier.

The bed creaked and shifted as they rocked against each other, Lexa’s arms unable to hold her up any longer. She fell towards Clarke but still holding herself up as they grinded on each other. Clarke was panting loudly and swearing, getting higher and higher in pitch and volume until with a shout she pushed up against Lexa and froze as she came.

Lexa kissed her neck softly as she felt the shivers course through Clarke’s body. With a grunt of surprise, Lexa found herself flipped unto her back as Clarke smirked down at her. She placed a soft kiss to Lexa’s lips, then to her neck, then on her nipple where she sucked and nibbled lightly.

Lexa leaned into the bed with a deep groan, hands grasping at the sheets. Clarke’s mouth disappeared from her breast to reappear placing a kiss against her clit.

“Shit!”

With a buck, Lexa gripped the sheets tighter and looked down to see Clarke smirking at her before she leaned back down to place another chaste kiss against her. Clarke shifted to lie on her stomach between Lexa’s legs, hands holding her thighs open.

Clarke kept placing small soft kisses before she touched her tongue to Lexa’s clit gently.

Lexa swore again and bucked against Clarke’s mouth.

“Oh god, Clarke, please, you’re driving me crazy”

Clarke stroked her tongue through Lexa’s folds slowly, before fastening her lips to Lexa’s clit and suckling gently.

“Fuck! Fuck, please!”

Clarke picked up the speed and licked and sucked Lexa; her hands gripping harder into Lexa’s legs.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck!”

Lexa grinded up against Clarke’s mouth as she began to fuck Lexa with her tongue, Lexa’s hands coming to hold Clarke’s head in place. Lexa drove up against Clarke’s mouth and rocked hard against her tongue.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Lexa came hot and fast and Clarke lapped her through the orgasm until Lexa was lying quivering on the bed.

Clarke crawled up Lexa to lie beside her, stroking her hair as Lexa came down.

Lexa kissed Clarke deeply and smiled against her lips, taking her into her arms.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Lexa chuckled at Clarke’s wondering hand, which had found its' way to her breast.

“Really?”

“I’m not done with you yet.” Clarke smirked as she pinched Lexa’s nipple, causing her to gasp out.

 

\--=--

 

Octavia stood up and grabbed her keys, shoving her feet into her shoes.

“How the fuck can I still hear them over my music! Fuck sake!”

Storming out the flat, she called Raven.

“Don’t come home, Clarke and Lexa have finally had sex and they’re loud as fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheesy dates and inspiration

3 months passed by and Clarke and Lexa were truly happy. They had talked about moving in together but both agreed it wasn’t the right time yet. Lexa had her dissertation to focus on as she needed to submit it in less than 5 months and Clarke was building her portfolio, hoping to meet with a few galleries.

Things were progressing well and their friends and flatmates were very much aware of how “well” it was. Now they had already had sex, they found every opportunity to do so, much to the amusement and annoyance of Octavia and Raven, who were usually home when they would come crashing through the front door, rushing to Clarke’s room kissing as they went.

“Do you guys do anything other than fucking?” Octavia asked Clarke during a rare moment when she wasn’t behind closed doors with Lexa.

“Ha ha, O.”

Clarke walked over to the fridge to grab the orange juice and poured some into the glass she had already taken out.

“No but seriously, you guys should go out for a date that doesn’t end in sex just to keep the romance alive or whatever. You don’t want your relationship to only be about sex do you?”

Octavia turned to look at Clarke as she leaned against the tabletop sipping her coffee. Clarke took a gulp of the juice and filled it up some more before putting the carton back into the fridge, her brow furrowed.

“Look, I’m not saying that you guys should stop having sex or anything, I’m just saying you should do more of the things you guys were doing last year. I’m not really one to talk given I’ll climb Linc whenever I get the chance, I mean look at him gaddamn, but yeah, I dunno where I’m going with this, do you get what I was trying to say?”

Clarke smirked.

“Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Lexa is currently trying to finish part of her draft for her advisor to review so is swarmed in books and referencey shit. I’ll plan some cheesy shit for a date.”

Octavia chuckled and nodded before sitting on the tabletop, nearly spilling her coffee on herself.

“Good; now, what are you making me for breakfast?”

“I heard breakfast!” Raven came shuffling into the kitchen and flopped into the closest stool, nestling her head in her crossed arms on the table.

“Who said I was making anyone breakfast?”

“I did!” “Me too.” Raven and Octavia grinned at Clarke’s annoyed face before rolling her eyes and opening the fridge again.

“What do you freeloaders want?”

“Eggs.”

“Pancakes.”

“Ooooh, can I change mine to pancakes too?”

 

\--=--

 

Clarke had it all planned out; she would swap shifts with Charlie and whisk Lexa away from the library for the afternoon. She felt like a romantic ninja as she booked the time and packed her bag at home.

When Clarke got to the library, she waved at Charlie, who was staring at her planner and chewing on her pen, and didn’t notice. Clarke made her way to the basement and paused on the stairs to smile as she took in the room. Lexa was sat hunched over an old volume and was hastily making notes in her journal, flipping pages back and forth; her hair was bundled atop her head and she had removed her shoes so as to bring her feet up on to her chair with more ease.

“Hey.”

Clarke spoke as she walked over to Lexa but with her headphones in, Lexa was oblivious.

Clarke walked in a wide circle towards Lexa so she would see her without jumping.

“Clarke…” Clarke really loved hearing Lexa say her name, “…what are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to abduct you for a few hours.”

“What?”

“Well, okay, maybe abduct isn’t the right word to use. Kidnap, seize by force, abscond…uh, elope.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows and stared at Clarke who was growing warm in the face.

“Um, what I mean is, I am here to whisk you away for an amazing date where you can relax and not stress over this dissertation for a while. It was meant to be romantic… not creepy.” Clarke chuckled to herself, rubbing her neck with one hand and shrugging her shoulders self-deprecatingly.

Lexa put down her pen and turned to face Clarke properly.

“I don’t really have time for that, Clarke, there is so much to do and my advisor wants…”

“I know but you need a break sometime and writing when you’re stressed isn’t the best thing. Please, let me do this for you, I promise it’ll be relaxing.”

Lexa studied Clarke thoughtfully before smiling and nodding.

 

\--=--

 

“This. Is. Not. Relaxing. Clarke.”

“Oh come on, Lex, give it a minute, it’ll get fun.”

With a shout Lexa stumbled to the floor and she glared up at Clarke who came to a stop beside her.

“Are you ok?”

“No, no I am not. How you convinced me to attach these death contraptions to my feet I do not know.”

“You’re so dramatic, they’re only roller skates. Here, you can hold on to me.” Clarke held out her hands and helped Lexa to her feet, the wheels spinning under her wobbly feet.

“Only someone who knows how to skate would say that. Whoa!”

“I got you, I got you.”

Helping Lexa to a standstill, Clarke spent a few minutes trying to explain how to stand still while on skates and how to move.

“A penguin?”

“Yes, I want you to imagine a penguin and try to walk like them, pushing your feet out with each step.”

Holding Lexa’s hands and skating backwards (“Show-off.”), Clarke helped Lexa skate a lap of the roller rink.

“That’s it, you’re getting it. Bet you’re going to be a natural.”

“Don’t be too sure.”

“Well of course I’m sure, you have an amazing teacher.”

“There is much left to be desired.”

“I’ll show you desire.”

Pulling Lexa towards her, Clarke kissed her deeply, arms encircling her before leaning back and smirking.

“Hmm, I’d say a 5/10.”

“Oh really! So why are you holding me so tightly right now?”

“Because if I let go, I will fall.”

“I’ll catch you.”

“My bruised ass says otherwise.”

“Your bruised ass is perfectly fine to me.”

Clarke’s smirk widened into a toothy grin and eventually after a few more retorts at each other, they skated around the rink side by side holding hands. Clarke had made a private booking for an hour so they would be the only ones on the track; it wasn’t the cheapest date she had ever planned but looking at the smile on Lexa’s face as they skated together, she definitely thought it was the best.

Afterwards, they grabbed a small late lunch/tea/early dinner in a café near the rink before heading back to the library. Clarke dropped off Lexa and with a kiss wished her luck on her work, knowing that Lexa would be there until closing.

When Clarke arrived at home she had a text:

_Lex <3 – Thank you for today, I had the best time even if you let me fall on purpose. Love you x_

With a grin, Clarke texted back before slumping on the sofa, dropping her bag next to her.

She decided she liked doing small things for Lexa to make her smile in this stressful time and decided to endeavour to do as much as she could over the coming months.

Clarke looked over at her sketchpad that she had left by the window with an unfinished work on it and tried to remember what motivation was. Her legs were tired from all the skating, especially since she hadn’t skated in years and she couldn’t be bothered to drag herself up to go over there.

At this point Raven came out of her room and saw Clarke draped over the sofa and scoffed.

“You’re pathetic.”

“Rae! Carry me to the window please.”

“No.”

“But I said please.”

“Don’t care.”

Raven headed for the kitchen and on her way back, arms laden with snacks and a full carton of juice; she scoffed again at Clarke still in the same position.

“Raven! Come back! I require assistance!”

In response, Raven carried on and kicked her door shut behind her and Clarke dropped her head back on the sofa.

“I can do this. I can do this. One limb at a time…”

Eventually she crawled her way over to the window and stared at the half sketched bird. She still wasn’t any more inspired to finish it than she had been yesterday. She turned the page to stare at a blank one and 10 minutes later all she had done was pick up her pencil and stare some more.

Clarke stood up, grabbed her bag then made her way to her room. She dropped her bag on the bed and made her way over to her desk where she opened her portfolio. Flipping through and hoping to grasp something, she sighed deeply before dropping it back on the table.

Looking around her room, Clarke’s eyes landed on Lexa’s shirt sitting on her laundry basket.

_“Clarke, I am not going to get coffee with Indra in yesterday’s clothes, she would roast me alive. I need to go home and change.”_

_“Borrow one of mine.”_

_“We’re at the sharing clothes stage?”_

_“Well yeah, I borrowed your hoodie a few weeks ago. I think it’s still here somewhere.”_

_“My black one?”_

_“Yup”_

_“Clarke! I thought that was Anya! I’ve been hounding her for weeks.”_

_“Oops, do you want it back then?”_

_“Of course I do but I will take one of your shirts in payment.”_

_“Borrow.”_

_“Take.”_

_“Lex… borrow!”_

Clarke smiled to herself at the memory and her eyes widened as an idea came into her head.

She had found her inspiration.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's muse becomes life on paper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been too long, life is mean and motivation is not easy.

When Clarke asked Lexa if she was okay with Clarke basing her portfolio of work on her, Lexa was sceptical. She remained sceptical all throughout Clarke’s arguments but begrudgingly agreed to be Clarke’s “muse” after several heated discussions and salacious promises were made.

Anya had teased Lexa mercilessly when she heard and said that as one of Lexa’s best friends, she was not ready to be attacked by paparazzi everywhere she went - walking down the street, mid-makeout session in a club… she had gone on for the next 5 minutes listing various locations and situations; each more explicit and impossible than the last.

For the next few months, Lexa continued to make headway with her thesis and stealing dates and nights out with the currently fixated and preoccupied Clarke. When she wasn’t at home in her room with her notepad, she was at work but still sketching as she manned the desk.

Clarke refused to show Lexa any of the sketches or work until she was sure it was “gallery ready”.

It was late evening on a Thursday in early April when it seemed as though Clarke was ready to share. When Lexa opened the portfolio of work on Clarke’s desk, all her residual scepticism dissipated rapidly.

It was exceptional.

The body of work was called “The Commander” and she had based the woman in the work off of Lexa. The numerous pieces and sketches all seemed to revolve around moments in this Commander’s life – in battle, astride her warhorse, addressing her council, waking up, giving a war cry, wielding weapons, close-ups of bruises, clipping on armour, letting down hair and a number of other sketches and doodles. Only two were full body shots and in all the drawings of The Commander in battle, she had war paint over her eyes and dripping down her cheeks, irises burning with fire and hunger.

The one that chilled Lexa was a close up picture of The Commander’s upper face only in charcoal. There was the war paint marking the face and a small sigil marked between her eyes. The eyes were so intrinsically detailed and clear that they seemed to suck Lexa into their depths, stirring up emotions within her.

Clarke stood by eagerly and impatiently watching Lexa as she went through the portfolio. She paced for a while but eventually sat on the bed, biting her lip nervously. Clasping her hands together in her lap, Clarke watched Lexa’s back as she went through Clarke’s body of work in total silence for the next ten minutes. Slowly Lexa closed the folder and turned to face Clarke, her face neutral but tears brimming in her eyes threatening to spill over.

“Cl-Clarke, it’s amazing.”

Lexa’s voice broke as she stumbled over her words and blinked back the tears. Standing from her seat she walked over to Clarke and grasped her hands.

“It’s mind-blowing, truly. I am so honoured to have inspired you to create something so exceptional. You are so so talented and I am so proud of you.”

Lexa smiled brilliantly and Clarke’s heart plummeted before coming back up to its' proper pace and thudding at a fast pace.

“Really? Are you sure? I…I…um…mmph!”

Lexa pulled Clarke into a fierce kiss and cut her stammering short, arms encircling Clarke’s waist and fingers trailing lightly along her back. Clarke shivered as they broke apart, her body thrumming with need.

“Wow, I’m glad you like it. I still need to find a gallery that’ll showcase it but yeah, I’m just glad _you_ like it.”

Clarke blushed and leaned in to press her forehead against Lexa’s, her cheeks reddening and warm to touch.

“I do…in fact I want to show you just how much I like it. You made a number of promises to me as I recall... and I’m ready to collect.” Lexa brought their lips together in a soft kiss before bringing her mouth to Clarke’s ear and biting sharply on her earlobe. Clarke shuddered out a breathy moan as she gripped unto Lexa, feeling skin through the low-cut sides of her tank top.

“I think we should start with the ice cubes.”

 

\--=--

 

Clarke awoke to the soft movements along her face. Cracking open one eye, she smiled as she saw Lexa watching her, one hand beneath her head and the other stroking Clarke’s cheek.

“Hi.”

“Hey…you being creepy?”

“No.”

“Really? How long have you been watching me sleep like some psycho?”

“Long enough.”

Clarke chuckled in response before closing her eyes and doing a full body stretch. She then snuggled in closer to Lexa, hands finding their way around her body.

“Mmm, I’m sore”

“I’ll bet.”

“You really know how to make a girl feel special.”

“It’s a talent.”

Wrapped in each other’s arms, the two women lay in comfortable silence before eventually falling back to sleep in the post sex haze. It was that moment that Lexa realised she wanted to wake up to Clarke every day and that same moment Clarke drifted off with the thought of how much she loved boobs and how soft they were.

 


	12. The Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final chapter :(

It wasn’t until the day after the party celebrating Lexa’s completed thesis and Clarke’s acceptance to showcase at the Valar Morg Gallery a month later, that Lexa actually asked Clarke to move in with her.

It wasn’t until an hour after waking and getting up that Clarke responded given Lexa had asked her as soon as she had woken but it hadn’t registered until the hangover haze cleared slightly a short time later. Safe to say, Clarke said yes.

September is when they found a nice one-bedroom apartment near TonDC Library where Clarke still worked and Lexa now used for book research rather than thesis research.

Clarke and Lexa began to settle into a rhythm after the first month held many, many spats. One person didn’t clean as much, one person squeezed the toothpaste in the middle, who forgets their keys at home when they go to take out the trash, _why on earth would you keep your books on the floor when there was a perfectly good bookshelf right there Clarke!_

However, despite the lack of smoothness in the road of the transition to roommates, Clarke and Lexa still managed to be the most annoyingly cute couple. Especially to the individuals the called friends and even though a number of them had moved away, they still managed to meet up for occasional nights out, nights in and short visits.

The next month began the adorable gifts and surprises - one person brought home flowers; one person got the other their favourite brand of tea out of the blue; one person woke the other up with an outstanding orgasm and so on.

When December came around they couldn’t have been more in love or in sync.

With all their friends back in town and over for a Christmas party, they both managed to propose to the other at the same time.

Raven and Anya gagged at the cuteness of it all, Octavia and Lincoln had missed it due to the fact they were pre-occupied kissing in one of the arm chairs, Bellamy rolled his eyes before grinning widely, Indra smirked and both Monty and Jasper had been arguing over the next Christmassy song to play.

Smiling at each other, both Clarke and Lexa exchanged rings and said, “Yes.”

And they continued to say yes to each other for the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic has been a journey in which i had absolutely no idea where i was going with it - i'm just glad it seemed to turn out ok i guess?   
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting and the kudos. Much love x


End file.
